Islam & The Concept of Friendship

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

By Isa al-Bosnawi

Humans have always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions. Much of our lives is spent in interaction with others. For us Muslims who are living in a society where we are clearly a minority, the issue of choosing right companions is essential for preserving our Deen. Befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is an essential means for staying on the Straight Path. Strong individuals, on the other hand, are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims should always strive for.

We all know that we were created for a specific purpose and that Allah the Most High has given us life in order to test us. None of us will deny that we are here for a relatively short period of time and that we shall meet Allah (s.w.t.) one Day.

Once we know our purpose and our goal, we should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our own selves. All of us believe that Allah has sent us a Messenger (s.a.w.) and revealed to us the Qur'an, the Best Speech.

In an authentic Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend."(1). The person most noble in character and dealings with fellow humans gave us a very clear message and advice in regard to friendship. We should choose the friend that is satisfied with our Deen and avoid the friend that is displeased with it. Whoever we see and are pleased with his Deen, we should befriend him and whoever we are displeased with his Deen and his manners, we ought to avoid him. There is no good in the companion who does not wish for us (from good) what he wishes for himself. There is also no good in the companion who wishes for us what he wishes for himself, if what he likes for his own soul is leading him towards destruction and Hellfire.

The bases for the actions of those who follow the evil ways are corrupt; their actions are built upon misguidance and deviation. Their deeds are worthless to them as Allah (s.w.t.) said: "And We will proceed to what they have done of deeds, so We shall render them to scattered floating dust." [25:23]. Their actions, even if we regard them as righteous and noble are of no value to them, so how can they be of benefit to us? Friends are those who feel for their companions, in both happy and sad moments. If we share our feelings with the wrong- doers whose actions are worthless and based on corruption, then we are following the same ways and standards as they are. Affection which results from that friendship leads to love and closeness to other than the righteous believers, and this may even lead to avoiding those who are on the Straight Way. Mixing with followers of any way other than that of the Guidance also results in a change in one's behaviour, morals and conduct. If we agree, follow and are pleased with such friends, then we inherit their habits, behaviours and even religion. Such a Muslim would find himself in a situation wherein he is willing to hide his Islam in front of those who despise it (those that he considers as friends) and to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim and his wrong-doing companion. Such a companionship is the root of sickness of one's heart and loss of one's Deen.

Instead of making friends with the misguided ones we should befriend the righteous and treat the rest in a gracious and just manner. Staying on a sufficient distance is necessary, yet treating everybody in a noble and kind manner is required.

In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him."(2)

In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawy said that the Prophet (s.a.w.) compared a good companion to a seller of musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant us from their virtue. And he (s.a.w.) forbade us to sit with those who do evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with innovators, backbiters, and so forth. Another scholar said: "keeping good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge, noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the wicked prevents all of that." Many times a Muslim is encouraged by his friends to do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that Muslims themselves are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer, their friends thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path.

Allah the Exalted says in the Qur'an: "And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger. Woe to me! If only I had not taken so- and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder (the Qur'an) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need." [25:27-29] So take heed before the inevitable Day comes and we are reckoned for our acts.

Allah, the All-Wise also says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [43:67]

Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (r.a.a.) and says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: Two who are friends for Allah's sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (s.a.w.) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me." So he is told: "Had you known what is (written) for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little." Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend: you were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend." And when one of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied with me." Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend."

That is the end of those who do not have Taqwah and those who befriend for a sake other than that of Allah the Exalted. Allah has surely spoken the truth and we all should grasp what He has informed us of. It is through the good company that Allah, the Most High, saves those who are astray and guides the wicked. The benefit of mixing with the righteous is immense, and it will, insha'allah, be even more obvious to us in the Hereafter. One of the early Muslims said that it is from Allah's blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship that he is given brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging him upon it".

Sealing a friendship for Allah's sake will result in one's receiving protection of Allah (s.w.t.). And as Ibn Abbas said: "No one may taste true faith except by this (i.e. building relationships for Allah's sake), even if his prayers and fasts are many. People have come to build their relationship around the concerns of the world, but it will not benefit them in any way." A scholar has said: "To seal a friendship for Allah's sake indicates the obligation of establishing relationships of love and trust for His sake; this is a friendship for the sake of Allah. It also indicates that simple affection is not enough here; indeed what is meant is a love based upon alliance. This entails assistance, honour, and respect. It means being with those whom you love both in word and deed." Loyalty for the sake of Allah really means to love Allah and to come to the assistance of His Deen; to love those who are obedient to Him and to come to their help. Moreover, the Shahadah "La Ilaha Illa Allah" requires us to ally ourselves for the sake of Allah, and it requires us to ally ourselves to the Muslims wherever we find them.

In two other authentic narrations of the Prophet (s.a.w.) we were commanded to keep company with a believer only (3), and told that a person will be with those he loves(4). So if we love and associate ourselves with those who are misguided, we should fear for our fate. The wise person is the one who prepares himself for the Hereafter, not the one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of Satan who tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever he wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of Allah and that he best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), we should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof against ourselves. Ali (r.a.a.) said: "Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their evils." If we are truly concerned about our fate, we must come to this realisation: those who take us away from remembering Allah, from obeying Him and His Prophet (s.a.w.), those who fail to remind us of our daily prayers and those who do not give us sincere advice in regard to our Deen; such are really our foes and not our friends.

On the other side, a believer is the mirror of his brother"(5), and if he sees any faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it, helps him to give it up and helps him wipe away any evil that he may have. Ibn Hazm said: Anyone who criticizes you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you."

How can we expect sincere advice and exhortation in regard to our religion from those who are displeased with our Deen or are simply indifferent? Are they going to help us achieve the purpose of our life, or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah's pleasure or is that Completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to al-Jannah or to the Hellfire? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves, lest we wake up after we die.

"O you who believe! Take care of your own selves. If you follow the right guidance and enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong no hurt can come to you from those who are in error. The return of you all is to Allah, then He will inform you about (all) that which you used to do." [5:105]

We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions that will take us away from His Wrath and lead us to His Pleasure and Paradise.

Courtesy Of: Islaam.com

Source: kalamullah.com

A Ramadan 2016 Message – A Time for Reflection

Ramadan is here again providing us the opportunity to reach out to Allah more than ever and ask for His forgiveness and blessings. As Allah has singled out this month more so than others for showering His blessings and mercy, it is only prudent that we also use the opportunity to reassess our conditions, our purpose and direction in life, and accordingly make appropriate changes in line with His commands.

This Ramadan, as we look at the state of Muslims around the world in general, we see that Muslim suffering has reached levels it has never reached in living memory. In many affected communities and countries, Muslims are being subjected to torture, killings, persecution, and all forms of unimaginable suffering. With every passing day, their plight does not seem to be getting any better. Images of families with shattered homes, dead children, and faces traumatized from the horrors of rape, hunger, and persecution are plastered throughout the media channels. As Muslims, one cannot stop but wonder whether we are being punished for our doings or if it is a test of our faiths. We also ask if something can be done not only to alleviate the current sufferings but also to ensure that it does not spread to engulf other Muslim communities.

This Ramadan we ought to pause and reflect upon this condition of the people that share our faith.

We know both from Quran and Hadith that in times of hardship we should persevere with patience, prayers, and Dua. But it is also prudent that we inquire whether our miserable situations are also due to our conduct unbecoming of a Muslim. Such a conduct obviously tends to keep us preoccupied with the attractions of this world distracting us in turn from Allah’s remembrance and subservience. It then should come as no surprise to us that when we turn a blind eye to the divine truths and warnings, we forfeit His blessings and mercy and pay a price both in this world and the hereafter.

Relearn the Message of Quran

Let us then refocus at this Ramadan and read and listen a bit more attentively to those divine truths that Allah tells us in the Quran. With added devotion and dedication, we will be able to hear and understand the Quran’s verses and Allah’s wisdom in those direct messages to us. That will surely pave the way toward our transformation and open up Allah’s gates for His mercy, forgiveness, and kindness, which we need so desperately to be successful in this life and the hereafter. As we ponder over those messages, we will also relearn what is really good for us and that will enable us to reprioritize accordingly. Those messages will also remind us that a soul that is forgiven and less burdened with sins can bring more benefit to us than the one burdened with materialistic gains of this life. As Allah tells us in the Quran,

‘Say: “In the bounty of Allah, and in His mercy; therein let them rejoice.” That is better than what (the wealth) they amass.’ (Surah Younus, 58.)

Relearning and internalizing what’s good for us will also provide us with the spiritual fuel that we need to motivate ourselves to do more good and to bring the Quran into our lives rather than merely paying lip service to its messages and referring to them as if they were superficial maxims. After all, unless we truly understand what is good for us and how that relates to the truth, our purpose in life, and our lives in general, how else can we get spiritually motivated?

Our salaf (righteous followers of the prophet) clearly understood and internalized those divine truths and their behaviors clearly reflected that understanding. Imam Ahmad records Abu Dardaa as saying: “If only you knew what you will certainly see upon your death, you would never eat again a single bite out of a craving appetite, and you would never again drink an extra sip of water for the pleasure of unquenchable and insatiable thirst.”

Cleanse Our Lives of Sinful Behaviors

This Ramadan also provides us the opportunity to pause and pay heed to those hidden sinful behaviors that may have crept into our lifestyles. For many of us, despite our indulgence in those sins, Allah has given us the respite to wake up and change course. Let us not forget that Allah has told us in the Quran the following:

“And if Allah were to seize mankind for their wrong-doing, He would not leave on it (the earth) a single moving (living) creature, but He postpones them for an appointed term and when their term comes, neither can they delay nor can they advance it an hour (or a moment).” Surah An-Nahl (16:128).

So, let not the comforts of our lives fool us into assuming Allah’s acceptance of our sinful conduct. Instead, we should utilize our peaceful times and act with a sense of urgency by reforming our behaviors and turning to Him in sincere repentance lest the time comes unexpectedly and we are held accountable for our actions both in this life and the hereafter by getting burdened with hardships.

Let us also remind ourselves that Allah has warned us that Satan who lurks in the shadows is our worst enemy and is committed to detract us from Allah and His message by making this life appear as an end all for our pursuits. Let us reflect, ponder and become more aware of how Satan tricks us into rationalizing our actions of bringing haram into our lives and by pushing us to compromise our values and ideals.

Worship Allah the Way He wants to be Worshipped

Let us use this month to manifest our faith by worshipping Allah the way He wants us to worship Him. We know from the Quran as well as prophet (s.a.w.s)’s traditions about the need to exert ourselves more – both physically and spiritually – to manifest that faith. We know that in this month the prophet (s) besides fasting during the day, prayed for longer hours at night, exerted more in Allah’s dhikr and remembrance, humbled himself in front of His Creator, and performed in a way that showed His love and fear of Allah and special reverence for this month. This Ramadan we, too, need to take the minutes and the hours from our schedules to exert more in that worship so it can also help train us to do so during other months.

Correct the Lies About Islam

This Ramadan let us also remind ourselves of the harsh reality that we live in a world infested with misinterpreted truths about Islam that are essentially just lies. Some of these lies have come about by the evil intentions of some and others have taken hold due to our inability to show the truth to others. Whether we have not taken the initiative to correct those misconceptions because we lack enough knowledge or because we choose to keep hiding in the shadows so as not to be “controversial”, we must realize that as Muslims we have a duty to correct those misconceptions. We can blame the evil mongers for spreading the lies but we are to be blamed for letting those lies lurk unchallenged. Once we strive to correct those misconceptions by educating ourselves more and by being bold, we will also learn the shortcomings in our behaviors, providing us with the opportunity to correct and improve ourselves.

Make Dua for Others’ Suffering

Going back to the suffering of the millions, let us do what we can this Ramadan to provide them whatever help we can to alleviate their suffering. At a minimum, we should make sincere Duas for the souls that are undergoing such trials. The prophet (s) had told us in a hadith that “The supplication that gets the quickest answer is the one made by one Muslim for another in his absence.” (Reported by Abu Daw’ud and Tirmidhi.)

Finally, let us ensure that we do not let this month go by without asking profusely for His mercy and forgiveness because if we received even a portion of that, it would be better than all that we accumulate in this world. To review the verse again, Allah says:

‘Say: “In the bounty of Allah, and in His mercy; therein let them rejoice.” That is better than what (the wealth) they amass.” (Surah Younus, 58.)

Let us pray that Allah gives us the ability to do what He pleases and may He accept our worship and good deeds in Ramadan!

Source: iqrasense.com